Life is Wonderfulish
by Kayka-chan
Summary: Crack drabbles with loads of odd prompts. Updatings will be sporadic. Enjoy, please!
1. Attachment

**Hey, hey, hey!**

**Characters: Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken**

**Prompt: Frog**

* * *

_Attachment_

* * *

Rin walked ahead of Ah-Uh, holding onto his reins even though she knew that he didn't need to be lead around. It just made her feel like she had something to do. Jaken was walking a few feet in front of her and, judging by the hunch of his shoulders, he was not happy about the predicament. Lord Sesshomaru walked ahead of the group obviously pretending not to notice.

Rin glanced down at it out of the corner of her eye and giggled delightedly.

"Master Jaken, he's still following you." Rin pointed out, suppressing more giggles. Master Jaken's shoulders hunched farther and you could almost physically see the aneurism in his brain pop. He whirled around, waving his staff here and there as he sputtered angrily and turned an unwholesome looking shade of red.

"You fool! Be gone with you! I have no need for you!" He yelled pointing down at his follower. The little frog just looked at him, its bulging eyes blinking dumbly. Master Jaken made a sort of squawking noise and whirled around again, quickly waddling after Lord Sesshomaru who had not stopped to indulge Jaken's tantrum and had simply kept on his merry way.

The frog croaked and leapt after him. Master Jaken would stop every so often and turn to scowl back at it. When he did, the frog would stop, and when he turned around to keep walking, so would the frog. Rin was trying very hard not to laugh, truly she was. She didn't want to laugh because that would make Master Jaken angry and Lord Sesshomaru didn't like it when she made him angry unnecessarily.

She couldn't help it, however. It was quite a comical sight. Ah-Uh even was making a low rumbling that sounded suspiciously like chuckles. The farther they went, the angrier Master Jaken got. Finally, he turned around again and began to yell at the frog.

"I am not your mother! Will you stop clinging to me! Go find a swamp to dive into! Leave me!" He hollered. The little frog sat there and croaked. Rin started to feel a little bad for the tiny frog and piped up,

"Master Jaken, how about we keep him?" She supplied. Ah-Uh rumbled and licked its chops. Clearly, he figured that they should just eat him. Jaken looked up at her and scowled.

"Silly girl! I have no time for a pet! I have no desire to let this animal trail me for the rest of its miserable life!" He bemoaned loudly. Rin frowned and opened her mouth so that she could put in a few more good words for the frog when she noticed that Lord Sesshomaru had stopped. She did too.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" She asked, looking around nervously because she knew that the only times he stopped was if they were going to spend the night somewhere or if there was an enemy. Seeing as it was still light out, Rin guessed the latter. He wasn't looking at her, however. He was looking down at Jaken.

"Jaken." He commanded. Jaken flinched and looked over at his lord, frozen with the end of his staff poking the frog on the head. The frog croaked.

"Y-yes, milord?" Jaken stuttered poking the frog again. Lord Sesshomaru glared down at him.

"Desist your racket." He commanded. Then he turned around again in a whirl of fluff and hair and resumed walking through the trees. Jaken scowled at the frog before removing his staff with a huff and following after. As Rin walked by the frog, she bent down, scooped him up and held him close. The frog looked up at her, almost curiously. Rin smiled.

"Don't worry, Master Jaken will like you soon enough." She assured her passenger. Jaken snorted, quietly saying that he would do no such thing.

A week later, he named the frog Ko.

* * *

**Like it?**

**Review please!**


	2. Ultimate Goal

**I'm back. Alright, the only reason that I updated this fast was because I felt bad about just having one boring old chapter, so I updated quick as can be. And because of the reviews. I do love those puppies...**

**Characters: Sesshmom (I named her Midori), Izayoi**

**Prompt: Alcohol. No more needs to be said.**

_

* * *

_

_Ultimate Goal_

* * *

The Lady of the West was drunk.

Well and truly wasted.

Midori almost never drank alcohol because of the fact that she was a lady and, well, quite frankly, ladies just don't get smashed. Especially demon ladies. However, she figured that the situation warranted copious amounts of alcohol consumption.

She had just come back from her mate's funeral, after all, and her own son hadn't even attended. Well, _technically_ he hadn't attended. He had hovered over in the trees and never actually joined in on any of the customary sends offs, but _still_.

As the sun set and the period for morning was done, the freshly made widow had seen her counterpart.

The Lady Izayoi was towards the back and tried to avoid meeting anyone's eyes while she cuddled her half-demon pup to her chest protectively. The demons in attendance were all giving the duo evil looks and snarls. Midori was seriously contemplating just walking away, leaving her to her own devices, but, alas, she could not. Whether it was now because they were both in the same boat, or because the recent loss of her mate had somewhat scarred her, she didn't know.

Nonetheless, the Lady had gracefully made her way over to the human and had extended an invitation for a small chat with her. She had accepted and they came back to the princess's abode where they had put Inuyasha to bed and dug out the sake.

The Lady of the West giggled from her place where she was; slumped against the table with her head burrowed into her arms. She lifted her face up enough so that she could look over her arms but still keep her nose and mouth covered by her voluminous silken kimono sleeves and fur. Across from her sat Izayoi, also in a state of inebriation, though not as bad as the demoness's. Izayoi looked like she wanted to cry.

"I… I just don't know!" She wailed dramatically as she brought a hand up to her face. "Sometimes I wonder why I even keep up with this. Why Inuyasha and I are still… ya know… here." She slurred, pointing at the floor when she said here and swaying. The Lady Midori sat up quickly and nodded wildly, her long silver hair swishing with her movements.

"I thought the same thing with Sesshomaru." She confessed in a mock whisper, that was, in reality, rather loud. She looked around in confusion before she smiled and brought the sake bottle up to her lips, swinging it back and taking a large gulp that burned her throat on the way down in the best way. The lady moaned appreciatively before she slammed the bottle back on the table and wiped her lips off on the sleeve of her kimono. "But not anymore." She proclaimed proudly. Izayoi's eyes widened as she reached over for the jug.

"How?" She questioned wondrously, quite convinced that perhaps demons were just sturdier than humans and that's how she got through it. The demoness curled her clawed pointer finger towards her in a motion for Izayoi to get closer, which she did.

"Grandbabies." She hissed into her drinking buddy's and widowed partner's ear. Izayoi drew back quickly and her eyes widened as she looked at the lady.

"Grandbabies?"

Midori nodded.

"Grandbabies."

Izayoi leaned her head back and looked at the ceiling, the candles flickering odd patterns on it through the dark. She clumsily brought a finger up to her moist and red lips, her hazy eyes looking back down at the demon woman who was removing one of the many layers to her elaborate kimono claiming it was hot in here. "I never even thought of that." Izayoi confessed awkwardly. The dog demon snorted in a very unladylike fashion.

"And why not?" She demanded. Izayoi looked guilty.

"Well, Inuyasha's just a babe himself…"

"Pup." The demon corrected quickly, stopping mid-swallow to say this before once again continuing to guzzle the alcohol.

"Pup, then," Izayoi conceded, "And I hadn't thought that far ahead." The sake was passed from one lady to the other as they switched talking.

"Well, this Midori has been thinking about it since Sesshomaru first said that he loved a girl." She confessed, giggling drunkenly at the memory. Izayoi looked at her incredulously.

"I can't say that I shee… shey? _See_. Sesshomaru saying that to anyone." Izayoi slurred. Midori nodded somberly and smiled at the reminiscence.

"He was still a small pup and probably doesn't even remember it. He found one of the serving women desirable and didn't beat around the bush about it. He got that from his father, you know." She informed Izayoi who nodded.

"I know."

They were quiet for a bit while they each went off into their own memories of the late Inu no Taisho. Then Midori slammed her hand on the table and growled loudly.

"I want my grandbabies!" She whined loudly before she stomped her way around the room. "And I want them to have cute little doggy ears, like yours!" The Lady of the West pouted. Izayoi stood up too and wobbled unsteadily before she joined in on the declaration. They both looked at each other and, deciding that they were drunk enough, they clasped hands and began to skip in a circle around the room chanting about grandchildren and what they could name them.

They were forced to stop when one of Izayoi's servants insisted that her lady had to get sleep. Midori had reluctantly agreed before she had walked over to the window and, after running into the wall next to it a few times, was finally able to get onto the sill and jump out, taking flight and transforming into her demon form.

As she flew to her castle she howled drunkenly the whole way there, hoping that Sesshomaru could hear her telling him to get his ass in gear and make her a fucking _grandbaby_.

* * *

**Like it?**

**Review please!**


	3. Modern Technology

**Back! Enjoy!**

**Characters: Miroku, Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo, and slight Sango**

**Prompt: Tampons!**

* * *

Modern Technology

--

Kagome had always, in the back of her mind, feared that some of her more… _awkward_ contemporary conveniences would be found and then she would be in for a long conversation as to what they do and what they're for. She had always feared this, but never actually expected it to happen. She had, already, explained to Sango what a bra was and what it was for, that was easy enough because they were both mature women who didn't have a problem sharing this advice with each other.

She would never, in a million years, want to explain what it was to Inuyasha—or Miroku—but especially Inuyasha.

Nonetheless, she had prepared herself for the possibility of the Bra-sightings. Her master plan was to call him a pervert, hit him, and sit him a few times before stalking off in an embarrassed huff and leaving him to apologize and promise never to look through her stuff again.

Or… something in that general vicinity.

But nothing, _nothing_, could have prepared her for when she saw Inuyasha and Miroku examining one of her tampons.

She did bring them, finding them to be the easiest things to use while fighting demons/Naraku/Naraku demons while on her period, but she kept them a secret, not even telling Sango, and carefully keeping them hidden from sight and mind. How they got a hold of the box, she will never know. Much less how they even figured out how to get the box open.

Yet, lo and behold, there it was!

The two men were sitting cross-legged in front of a tipped over cardboard box stating it's brand and the instructions, the top had been brutally ripped open and the contents strewn randomly around them. Wrappers here, strings there, and it didn't end there. _Oh_, no. They had found a favorite one that had slowed down enough to study.

Its outer plastic layer was being calculated by Miroku who couldn't figure out what said plastic was; turning it this way and that with a contemplative look on his face. He turned it in his hand so that it was on its side and looked through the hole, bringing his hand up to cup his chin in thoughtfulness as he _hmm_-ed quietly. All in all, she was okay with that, after all; worse things could be done with a tampon cover.

It was Inuyasha's object of attention that had Kagome frozen in embarrassment.

He had the actual tampon in his _mouth_, periodically tugging on the string that hung out of his mouth and was wrapped around two clawed fingers as he sucked on the cottony part. Then he made a face and spat it out and it dangled from his fingers, soggy and pathetic looking. Inuyasha had his tongue hanging out of his mouth and she could see bits of the cotton stuck to it. He made a disgusted sound and scraped at his tongue with his unoccupied hand. The tampon swung back and forth with his movement and distracted his attention back over to it.

He swung it left. Then right. Then, with a roughish smile that Kagome would have considered somewhat dashing under other circumstances, he began to swing it in a fast circle. Miroku flinched and stuck up a hand when some of the spittle that had seeped into the object flew off and smacked him in the face. He sighed as he wiped it off before he, too, noticed the newly developed weapon known as Tampon.

"Do you think it would hurt?" He asked contemplatively. Inuyasha made a scoffing noise and stood up, still swinging it.

"Wanna find out?" He dared. Miroku stood up quickly and held up his hands, words of discouragement on his lips before Inuyasha let the soggy tampon fly. It smacked Miroku right in the nose, the string swinging up and hitting him in the eye. His hands automatically flew up to his face, catching the tampon in the process.

"Ow…" Miroku mumbled, rubbing at his eye that was slowly turning an irritated red. Inuyasha snickered at him. Miroku scowled and whipped the "weapon" at Inuyasha who lazily stretched out his hand and snagged it from the air.

"I like this thing of Kagome's." He declared, once again swinging it in a circle. "I wonder what she uses it for…" he cut off and whirled around to the trees where Kagome was hidden as soon as the wind shifted, bringing with it the scent of herself and the blood as a result of her cycle. Inuyasha stuttered, looking down at the hand that had the tampon in it before hastily and guiltily whipping it behind his back and out of sight.

"Inuyasha…" Kagome began, her face still warm from the blood pounding through it. He gulped at her dangerous tone. "Drop it!" She ordered quickly and was surprised when he actually complied, the utensil making almost no noise as it fell into the grass and among it's scattered brothers. He backed up worriedly and she watched, amused as his ears flattened themselves to his skull like he was getting ready for her to start yelling.

Kagome thought about it. Oh, she really did. Instead, however, she hastily gathered up as many of them as she could, stuffing them sloppily back in their box, before running off with them.

She didn't look back and she didn't stop running till she reached Sango and Shippo. She smiled. She knew that she would have no troubles with these two. None what so…

_Why was Shippo holding her thong?_

"Kagome, what's this?" He asked stretching the flimsy material between his small hands.

Kagome didn't get a chance to answer.

You see, she quite promptly fainted.

* * *

**Like it?**

**Review please!**


	4. The Inuyasha Shipper's Bible

**Woop woop! None of this is supposed to be in any way offensive. It's all for fun!!**

**Characters: Any shipping pairs I could think of, and Jaken.**

**Prompt: I actually got this idea from someone else. Permission to use said idea was granted.**

* * *

**The Inuyasha Shipper's Bible**

—**The Commandments—**

**--**

**The Gospel of Inuyasha and Kagome**

_Commandment I: _Inuyasha never actually loved Kikyo, he twas really waiting for Kagome all along.

_Commandment II: _Kagome tis a constant damsel in constant distress. Inuyasha shall always come to save her no matter where he tis, what he tis doing, or how fast asleep he tis. Hallelujah.

_Commandment III: _If Kagome and Inuyasha cannot become joined in holy matrimony, for whatever reason, she shall become with his child – by any means necessary—and it shall force the two together. They shall enjoy it vastly.

_Commandment IV: _Kagome tis horribly insecure and only Inuyasha can save her from her own monsters.

_Commandment V: _Kikyo tis a psychotic zombie bitch who needs to actually stay dead this time.

**--**

**The Gospel of Miroku and Sango**

_Commandment I: _Miroku shall suddenly and unquestioningly stop his lecherous tactics that he hast been practicing since his balls dropped just to be with Sango whom tis the only woman he shall ever truly love.

_Commandment II: _Sango hast loved Miroku since forever. The Sacred Jewel saith so… somewhere.

_Commandment III: _Miroku doth be a masochist.

_Commandment IV: _Sango knowsts far more about sex than any virgin ever should or shall.

_Commandment V: _Sango lives only to bring pleasure to Miroku.

--

**The Gospel of Sesshomaru and Kagura**

_Commandment I: _Kagura shall put herself in any danger just to get close enough to sniff Sesshomaru.

_Commandment II: _Sesshomaru is God. Amen.

_Commandment III: _an OOC Sesshomaru tis a romantic Sesshomaru.

_Commandment IV:_ Sesshomaru loves the wind because Kagura tis the wind. Duh-ith.

--

**The Gospel of Sesshomaru and Rin**

_Commandment I: _Everything Sesshomaru hast ever said about his motives tis wrong. The only thing he cares about tis chasing underage teenagers and having sex with them. There tis no proof, though, because proof tis for the unenlightened.

_Commandment II: _Sesshomaru tis God. Amen.

_Commandment III: _He no longer cares that he hates all half-demons because he tis so infused with his love for her.

_Commandment IV:_ Opposites attract, dammit.

_Commandment V:_ The series of Inuyasha twas not, in fact, about Inuyasha. It twas about Sesshomaru and Rin's love for each other. We shall ignore the fact that she tis under the age of ten over half of it.

--

**The Gospel of Sesshomaru and Naraku**

_Commandment I: _Sesshomaru tis evil and serious. Naraku tis evil and serious. They shalt have a blast together.

_Commandment II: _Anything containing this pair tis not to be written under NC-17

_Commandment III: _One of them tis actually a girl. I'm not going to say who.

_Commandment IV: _If they want to kill each other that must mean that they obviously love each other.

_Commandment V: _Sesshomaru tis God. Amen.

--

**The Gospel of Inuyasha and Kikyo**

_Commandment I: _She came back for a reason.

_Commandment II: _Spending eternity in hell together is terribly romantic.

_Commandment III: _Kagome tis a whiney reincarnation bitch with big boobs.

_Commandment IV: _Being shot with arrow tis an easy thing to forgive and forget.

--

**The Gospel of Sesshomaru and Kagome**

_Commandment I: _Everything Sesshomaru hast ever said about his motives tis wrong. The only thing he cares about tis chasing underage teenagers and having sex with them. There tis no proof, though, because proof tis for the unenlightened.

_Commandment II: _Inuyasha hast Kikyo, Rin hast Kohaku, Kagura hast Naraku, and Sesshomaru gets—er, I mean… hast Kagome.

_Commandment III: _She says she hates his guts. She tis _**lying**_.

_Commandment IV: _Sesshomaru hast found a way to transport himself to the future and tis suddenly at the mercy of Kagome. During this time, they shalt fall madly in love.

_Commandment V: _Sesshomaru tis God. Amen.

--

**The Gospel of Jaken**

_Commandment I: _He hast no known sexual organs. This tis very boring.

_Commandment II:_ He must love Sesshomaru.

_Commandment III: _He secretly loves Rin.

_Commandment IV: _When he's not loving Rin, he tis lusting after Kagome.

**And thus, the holy wars raged!!**

* * *

**Amen.**

**Review please!**


End file.
